Multiple Parents
January 302010
Being a child in a broken home I have not two, not three, but four parents. I know that second husbands and wives, who come into families with children are seeking advice about how to proceed. I wanted to offer the child’s perspective. Step parenting is a tricky business. On the one hand, it is helpful for the child if the new father or mother is present, supportive, and constant. On the other hand, it is best if he/she does not appear to want to take over the role of the original parent. Showing up, giving love, being a friend, sharing hugs: these are all great things for a new mother or father to do. Asking to be called Daddy however is a big no-no! The new parent should not try to replace the biological parents. Even if they were only around for a few months or years, there is a special link that arises. The biological parent holds a place in a child’s life that no one can replace. Even if both the original parent and the new parents love the child, if they are having troubles with each other, the child can feel it. So parents in new relationships, if they are having difficulties finding and keeping love, should get help. Work it out. Don’t think you can hide it by not shouting in front of the children because they will feel it anyway.